It's the end of the month. Tomorrow, marks April 1st. No foolin'.
A sea of change is upon us. Weather wise, emotion wise and energy wise. I feel like I've been in a state of personal transition for months and months now. My friend assures me that that's nothing. He says he was in one for three years. He promises you snap out of it. I think it's been about a year for me, all triggered when I lost my job and realized I actually had no idea what I was doing, when this whole time I thought I'd been doing just fine. No direction. Losing your sense of self-identity is one of the hardest parts about being human. That, and the fact that the people you love have the ability to not love you also. Those are the two hardest parts about being human, I'm convinced.
I'm struggling, I'm afraid. I'm not writing, I'm not answering my email, I'm not as excited as I used to be regarding my craft and passion for writing. My daydreams are stale, my ideas are bland. I'm getting slowly better, I'd say, but I'm riding this plateau with no curve clear in sight. It'll happen though - Change is inevitable and soon enough I'll get hungry again. A transition is a blessing (although sometimes a curse I'm learning), as it means that this is all just temporary. A day at a time. Blame the winter months in the meantime.